Observations on the rollercoaster ride that is parenting

Monica

You would have loved her if you’d met her. She was so kind and genuine…so full of life and love. She was no fragile flower though.  She had fight in her. She was clever too… she had a tremendous sense of humor… it was intelligent, and twisted, and crazy. We loved it. In fact, when I heard the news today part of me was holding back…hoping it was some joke that had gone sideways. But no. Even that would be too far for her… God, I wish it were a joke.

It was impossible to be around her and not enjoy yourself. I would come home from work some days and she and Kendra would be in tears from laughing so hard. They could find humor in anything. They called me once when I was out of town on travel to give me the blow-by-blow account of how they were ridding the backyard of rodents. The alternating screams and eruptions of laughter created quite the image in my mind. I’m sure my mental film footage did no justice to the actual scene unfolding on our lawn. Although I can’t right now, I know I’ll smile about that again for years to come. She was so selfless…She helped us paint to help our house feel like our home… and even though she hated to do it, when it was time for us to move, she helped us pack our home and prepare the house for the next family. I will remember her in that way. Always the friend. Always ready to lend a hand in whatever way necessary.

She was great with the boys. It’s sad that all we’ll ever have for them to see now are pictures… and she never got to meet Ethan. But all our “what-ifs” and “could haves” fail to compare to the pain and the void that her husband and their daughter are dealing with right now. This year would have been 20 years for those two. That is so rare, and so special… and her daughter… her daughter was her world. She truly embraced every moment of motherhood. She even took a part time job at her daughter’s school to be able to spend more time near her and be available during off school hours. Those two people who love her and need her are devastated today… and for that our hearts are broken. They are missing a very special person. She was amazing… I wish you could have met her. You would have loved her.

Please pray for our friends…

Kiss your kids.

7 Comments

  1. Cheryl Sloan Cheryl Sloan
    March 19, 2010    

    I agree, you would have truly loved her. Today I was saddened by the news of Monica’s passing. Although I only knew her for a few short years, we became great friends in just a short amount of time. My name is Cheryl and I had the pleasure of working with Monica at her daughters school. Monica was the sweetest lady I knew and I knew it from the minute we met. She was always so happy and full of life, everyone who knew her fell in love with her. Monica had a super intelligent personality, a great sense of humor and so much more. She was so easy to get along with and would do anything she could to help someone out if needed. I was very blessed to have Monica as a friend. Whenever I was down, she would pick me up and give me a pep talk. She told me exactly what she thought, not just what she thought I wanted to hear. I love her for that! She helped me through some personal relationships and I love her dearly for her advice. She was always honest in everything she said or did, that made me love her even more. I respected her honesty and often looked to her for guidance, she was always there for me. She was a great listener and would share her views openly and honestly always. You always got the truth from Monica that was just the way it was, it didn’t matter if you liked it or not, she was going to tell you what she thought if you asked for her opinion. I loved her for that! She always had a beautiful smile on her face, I never once saw her frown and she loved everyone no matter what, I loved her for that! I had the opportunity to go out and play Bingo with Monica on several occasions, until then I never really went out much. She kept asking me to go and finally I said “Okay”. It was the best time of my life, I am so thankful that I went, I love her for that! It didn’t matter if I would win or lose because just being with Monica made me a winner. It was such a great time. I love her for that! I will cherish every moment, every word and every day I got to spend with her, forever! She was absolutely one of a kind and the most beautiful lady inside and out that I’d ever met. I love her for that! My thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends. God bless

  2. Mark Foster Mark Foster
    March 20, 2010    

    That is a beautiful tribute. I am truly sorry to hear this news. I’ll add Monica’s husband and daughter to my prayer list.

  3. Anne Pelletier Anne Pelletier
    March 22, 2010    

    Words just cannot describe… Monica, God must have really needed you very much to take you so early. It’s hard to understand why heaven’s gain causes those of us left behind so much pain. You were an amazing angel walking this earth I have no doubt. Mike is so right that you always seemed to know just what to do and say – you always did. Gosh, we were really just “kids” when we met, looking back. I am so thankful that our paths crossed, for we were blessed by you and Michael’s friendship. The thing I’ll remember about you the most is your sincerity, compassion and intelligence. You were so funny, always there with the quick witty comeback. I am sure everyone has memories of those belly laughing moments; I know we do! You will so very missed Monica. I will miss our long talks…it never seemed to matter how much time went by after we moved apart; it always seemed just like yesterday. I know, like Delany knows, that we just need to look up to say hello, but it’s the lack of your physical presence that will be so hard. I have no doubt you were welcomed at heaven’s gates with a “Well done.” Mike and Delany, Ty, moms and dads – I don’t know how you will get through the next hour, day, week, and month, but I pray they you feel God’s love, mercy and comfort through the hugs of those around you. Words just cannot describe…

  4. Katherine Irby Katherine Irby
    March 23, 2010    

    What a wonderful tribute to your daughter, my thoughts and prayers are with you and the family. I regret that I will be unable to attend her service, as I would rather pay my respects in person. Monica was one of the funniest, most intelligent, talented, beautiful people that I have ever had the pleasure to know. She and I were good friends in high school and had re-connected, after far too much time had passed, through Facebook-of all places. Although, a social networking website which lends to ‘text only’ exchanges, the conversations and comments were just as hysterical, as if we were face-to-face. My heart is heavy with sorrow for her husband, daughter, brother, parents, other family and her endless line of friends. Her smile will be forever embedded in my mind. Her shrewd sense of humor shall remain in my ‘jester’s’ box. And her laugh will resound in my mind until I have the privilege of seeing her again. Thanks for the good times, Monica. Godspeed.

  5. Amy Amy
    April 22, 2010    

    That is a beautiful tribute. I am truly sorry to hear this news. I’ll add Monica’s husband and daughter to my prayer list.

  6. May 4, 2010    

    Most beautiful tribute I’ve read on any blog. She was like an angel and I guess God needed her back. You must have really loved her! My prayers are with you and her family. Ana V.

  7. June 12, 2010    

    Great post!

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