Through a Father's Eyes

You would have loved her if you’d met her. She was so kind and genuine…so full of life and love. She was no fragile flower though.  She had fight in her. She was clever too… she had a tremendous sense of humor… it was intelligent, and twisted, and crazy. We loved it. In fact, when I heard the news today part of me was holding back…hoping it was some joke that had gone sideways. But no. Even that would be too far for her… God, I wish it were a joke.

It was impossible to be around her and not enjoy yourself. I would come home from work some days and she and Kendra would be in tears from laughing so hard. They could find humor in anything. They called me once when I was out of town on travel to give me the blow-by-blow account of how they were ridding the backyard of rodents. The alternating screams and eruptions of laughter created quite the image in my mind. I’m sure my mental film footage did no justice to the actual scene unfolding on our lawn. Although I can’t right now, I know I’ll smile about that again for years to come. She was so selfless…She helped us paint to help our house feel like our home… and even though she hated to do it, when it was time for us to move, she helped us pack our home and prepare the house for the next family. I will remember her in that way. Always the friend. Always ready to lend a hand in whatever way necessary.

She was great with the boys. It’s sad that all we’ll ever have for them to see now are pictures… and she never got to meet Ethan. But all our “what-ifs” and “could haves” fail to compare to the pain and the void that her husband and their daughter are dealing with right now. This year would have been 20 years for those two. That is so rare, and so special… and her daughter… her daughter was her world. She truly embraced every moment of motherhood. She even took a part time job at her daughter’s school to be able to spend more time near her and be available during off school hours. Those two people who love her and need her are devastated today… and for that our hearts are broken. They are missing a very special person. She was amazing… I wish you could have met her. You would have loved her.

Please pray for our friends…

Kiss your kids.

It is always the little things, the inconveniences; the frustrations; the annoyances; the unexpected twists in the day, that tend to get me worked up and make me lose focus. Those obstacles distract me from noticing or remembering all the other little things that make life beautiful. In order to help myself choose to see the beauty and blessings of every day, I’ve decided to keep a list. This list will grow over time, and items will be captured in no particular order other than the order in which they occur to me at any given moment. I expect the “little things list” will appear here periodically… picking up wherever the last post ended. I hope some of these things are recognizable to you… Read more…

Spring Break. Masked in all the leisure and freedom of this sunny two-week span of devil-may-care frivolity is the specter of Loss. The boys know it; they’ve pushed it aside to deal with later. I can see it cross their minds sometimes. Then they’ll shake it off and refocus on the here and now. Right now, they are enjoying every moment of the break. You’ll find them out on the trampoline, over at the park, hanging with friends…But, Jaden and Dillon have an awareness that when the sun sets on that final day of vacation and they lay their heads down to rest they will awaken to a new reality. Things will be different. Mrs. Robbins will be gone.

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It was a little black sanding sponge. I handed it to Ethan to put back in the cart while Kendra and I sought out materials for a table refinishing project. Ethan toddled proudly over to the cart and stretched his little body upward. He nearly stepped out of his shoes as he perched up on his toes. He grasped the side of the cart to stabilize himself and slid his arm over the side of the basket.  I watched him gingerly set the sponge down in the upper basket and slowly withdraw his hand. His task complete, he gave himself a tiny clap and turned to me with a satisfied smile. Read more…