Through a Father's Eyes

Every night, shortly after returning downstairs from our bedtime rituals with the boys (Jaden and Dillon), we hear the thunderous bumps and bangs associated with boys jumping down from bunk beds or doing somersaults into the furniture. After several trips up and down the stairs to negotiate terms of sleep, the commotion eventually dies down and they succumb to exhaustion…usually. Sometimes, as was the case a few nights ago, the boys will lay awake and talk; discussing topics ranging from constellations to trampoline maneuvers to basic philosophy. Occasionally, they will reach a stalemate and request an opinion from one of us.

I was in a muddled state of mind the other night, trying to think through a few issues and get myself ready for a business trip the next day. The commotion upstairs had died down and I figured they had gone to sleep. I was heading up to our room to pack my bag, and I was met by Jaden coming out of his room “Dad?” he asked with a very serious Jaden expression. “Does Heaven have sparkly walls?” We stood on the landing and discussed the possibility for a few moments, and I agreed that it made sense that the walls in Heaven could sparkle. He retreated back into his bedroom, and I carried on being preoccupied. About 20 minutes later, another call came from the bedroom. “Mom…” Jaden and Dillon came out of their room as we arrived at the bottom of the stairs. “Mom, do you assume that Heaven has sparkly walls?” Jaden asked from the top of the stairs as Dillon stood behind in the doorway (Jaden is the official spokesman for post-bedtime discussion topics). “Dillon thinks they should be cloud walls.” My half-hearted engagement in the earlier conversation was clearly obvious – they  escalated to mom. Being the forgiving children they are, they did allow me to rejoin the conversation and we held court on the stairs at 10:00 having a wonderful conversation about a topic that would never have occurred to me to consider. 

I sometimes forget how imaginative and intelligent children can be, and how far reaching those traits often are. Moments like these are a great reminder of that and of how much of their environment they consume and have to process internally. It is so cool that they have one another to work through these things with on a peer to peer level. Even cooler, is that they still want to share those thoughts with us. I am glad my son was not discouraged by my initial interaction with him, and I embrace this lesson to fight through my distractions in order to nurture their thirst for knowledge. Inspiration and curiosity do not always follow daylight schedules. We decided that the walls in Heaven could be sparkly and made of clouds, and that in some places one or the other. But that night, from my vantage point, they were dry-wall with light brown paint.

Imagination is a curious and powerful thing. As adults, I think we tend to lean toward “creativity” as a substitute. It implies imagination and does not seem to have close association with that childish term “fantasy”. It feels “artistic”. It sounds mature. I consider myself to be “creative”. I have identified “innovative” solutions. In fact, both words appear in my job description. But, when I lay down in the floor the other day to play Legos with Jaden, I realized just how far creativity is from imagination. I see imagination as a mental muscle. If it is not nurtured, it will surely atrophy. As a kid I used it all the time. Today I see it being fully exercised in our boys. Logan has bins full of Legos and could create the most incredible spaceships, vehicles, robots, or weapons with very little effort and without a template or guide. He now devours books, writes occasionally, and is very much into activities that require the suspension of disbelief. Ethan drives cars and flies planes all over the house and likes to go outside at night to say goodnight to the moon and stare up at the stars.  His little mind is soaking up all the possible impossibilities, and I can’t wait to see what develops. Jaden and Dillon will sit and paint pictures and sceneries for hours on whatever canvas is available – paper plates, printer paper, etc. – and take photos from very interesting perspectives. They have created a race of Lego people and are constantly tinkering with those toys, constructing whatever comes to mind. 

I stared into the pile of Legos for a good 20 minutes before I even reached for a single piece. Jaden had built and destroyed several figures in that time. I watched him as he scanned the pile and would reach for a few and consider each while quickly assembling the desired pieces and letting the others fall. Logan had a similar approach. He would begin with a few pieces and then let it develop into his final creation. It was like he wasn’t always sure what he was going to make until he held the final product in his hand… like his imagination guided him along the path and let him know when he had arrived.

I felt a familiar sensation in my mind as I came across a square piece with an axle and two wheels on it. Imagination was stirring… more pieces came to mind… I had an image of a finished product. Jaden watched me raking through the pile with what appeared to be a satisfied grin on his face as he continued to build. Finally, my creation was complete. I offered it to Jaden for his approval. Dillon came in to join us and saw what I made. He grabbed it and the argument over who would get to use it began. Success! My imagination produced a toy worthy of contention… I hadn’t lost it completely – yet. I quickly made another one, and will be adding this exercise to my schedule with my personal trainers.