Two weeks away from taking another ultrasound peek at our developing baby… it is incredible to think that in a few months that child will be on the outside and adding to the love/chaos/excitement/stress/animation/noise/activity that already exists in our house of five. With all the stress of work and trying to keep the house presentable for potential buyers and keeping the kids engaged and productively occupied, Kendra and I absolutely collapse at the end of each day. As much as I am looking forward to our new baby, I am often equally terrified of the prospect of expanding the family. Once again, we find ourselves standing at the edge of change…. next steps are obscured and what lies ahead is difficult to discern. We can only have faith that when we take the next step through the fog we will find firm footing… and it is exciting to be this overjoyed and be this scared at the same time!
It’s like standing in line to ride that roller-coaster for the first time… you hear the shrieks and screams of those ahead of you and you’re not really sure what to expect… you see people survive the ride and get off, and some even come back to ride again… when it’s your turn, you sit down, strap in, and hold on. There are moments you lose your breath, moments you scream out loud, moments you want to close your eyes and wish you were back on the ground, and moments when you are grinning ear to ear. The best part is, with kids, the ride is never the same… the down side is, as I am finding out, it seems to go by just as quickly.
I think back to when it was just Logan, Kendra, and me… life was full and days were packed. It didn’t seem possible that the curious little boy I knew would grow into the creative young man he is becoming. It does not seem long ago when Logan was tearing up and down the street in his Big Wheel or boldly demanding his training wheels be removed from his bike. I still vividly remember the day he said goodbye to his life preserver at the apartment swimming pool when he saw another little boy his age swimming without one. He decided then that he would always be one to shine… that light still glows in him… I can’t wait to see that light in full shine!
Thinking back even further when I ventured out into the “real world” and set out for Phoenix in search of a career, I had no idea what a blessing was in store for me in Logan and Kendra. In a blink, we went from three to five…now Logan is on the cusp of adolescence, Jaden and Dillon are nearing Kindergarten age, and baby #4 is rounding the turn. We have had no shortness of twists and turns or loop the loops, but all in all, we continue to enjoy the ride. I have no idea what the next step will bring. God continues to bless us in ways we could not imagine… so I stand here terrified, overjoyed, listening to the symphony of emotions of those that ride ahead of me… and look forward to taking this ride one more time.
Kiss your kids!