Observations on the rollercoaster ride that is parenting

The 30,000 ft. Hook Shot

Another Open House this weekend… Hopefully this brings us one step closer to packing up and heading back to the Valley of the Sun. I hear it was a balmy 114 degrees out there today – just a touch warmer than the 80-something degrees we had here… nice breeze… cooled down to mid 70’s in the evening…great for keeping the windows open and letting the air flow through the house…but, what is an extra 20 or 30 degrees? It can’t be that bad right? We lived through it before. It only lasts five or six months. It is a DRY heat after all… hmmm… let me call my realtor. We may not need that Open House after all :)

All this reminiscing about Phoenix is getting me to thinking about the last trip we took out here from there while trying to find a house…the flight to Kansas City was a dream… the boys (Jaden and Dillon – Logan had opted to stay in AZ) were well behaved and polite the entire time. They sat patiently in the airport, smiled and talked to people, played nicely with each other, shared things…. should have seen the set up, but I was blinded by the cuteness. They had conned me to the point that I recommended they travel without car seats and the stroller for the flight back home. It was in keeping with the “big boy” theme, I argued… they had just declared independence from their diapers and had gone full blown potty trained, they had handled themselves like little men on the way out there… it was only right that we reward them by allowing them to sit like big guys in the airplane seats… either that or I was just too lazy to deal with the car seats on the airplane again. (Have you tried doing that with two big car seats? Buckling them into those tiny airplane seats right next to each other, and then strapping the kids into them and then undoing everything and lugging those things all the way down those narrow aisles and all over the airport??) Either way, they had me where they wanted me… unarmed and trapped in a crowded airplane set to take a 3 hour flight from Kansas City to Phoenix.

Somehow it worked out that Kendra and the boys had a row to themselves and I sat across the aisle next to some guy and his girlfriend/wife/significant other (this will be important later). So, the boys immediately launch into action and begin to argue over who in fact has the right to occupy the window seat. There had been some previous discussion about who would sit where and even some talk about switching seats at a certain point during the flight… they recalled none of this when we tried to get them to be reasonable and find some sort of compromise. this lasted roughly 25 minutes. At this point, the passengers within 8 rows either direction were well past the “aren’t they cute?” stage and were taking collections to buy some vodka to slip into the boys’ drinks… the ‘flight attendant’ kept passing by with the “is everything all right?” smile on her face that was slowly slipping into a full panic expression like she was mentally trying to calculate the remaining stowage space in the overhead bins and sizing them up to see if they could juuuust squeeze in there somehow to keep the other passengers from rioting. After the seating dispute was settled, and several trips back and forth across the aisle to visit me and trips by me to sit with them and switch with Kendra and round and round for about an hour, Jaden became convinced that the pilot was traveling the wrong direction or that he had just had enough of being on the plane. He wanted to go “back that way” pointing behind him and was completely mystified as to why the plane was not turning around that very instant. It was at this moment during the flight amidst all the hateful glares of my fellow passengers that I realized that we may overindulge these children just a touch… somehow Kendra was able to convince him that we were in fact headed the right direction and that it would take much less time to keep going forward than to turn around and go back… he was either too tired to continue arguing by that point or was starting to sense the real danger we were in from the rest of the passengers on the plane. In either case, he acquiesced.

Now… the passengers in my row were enjoying some coffee and having some quiet conversation about how glad they were to not have to travel with 3-year-old-twins or something along those lines. Dillon was about to give in to sleep himself and was about to take a drink from his cup. In order to do this, he needed to remove his Binky to make room for the beverage. Usually, he would hand his Binky over to someone or just spit it down, but of course, that is not the course of action he chose. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dillon’s arm in motion and a moment later I feel a slight breeze as if something flew by my face. Kendra asked, “did he just throw that?”… I searched around my seat and in the aisle for the Binky… it was nowhere to be found. I am about to give up and try to find the back up, and when I leaned down to check the diaper bag for the back up, I notice something floating in my neighbor’s coffee cup. He hasn’t noticed just yet, but would as soon as he attempted to take a drink. Now… he was not the most friendly looking individual, and we had not exchanged even the simplest of pleasantries the entire flight, and here I was in the unpleasant position of letting him know that my son had made a miracle shot from the other side of the airplane… Here goes… “excuse me”, I tap his arm. He turns slowly and faces me. I look him in the eye and glance down toward his coffee and the floating Binky. His eyes follow mine, pause momentarily as they focus on the Binky, and then they return to my face. I lean back slightly and he peers past me to the beet red face of my wife and a Binky-less Dillon with a “so, are you going to give me my Binky or what?” expression on his face. Then he looks back at me and slowly pulls the object from his drink. He hands the wet Binky to me and I shrug and say the only thing that I can think of as I try not to come totally unglued with laughter….”one in a million shot”…. “yeah”, he said…”nice shot”

I have never seen a plane empty so fast as it did when we landed in Arizona.

New Photo page is in the works… just a few for now, but we should have plenty tomorrow.

Thanks for coming along for the ride… Kiss your kids!

1 Comment

  1. June 27, 2007    

    The next Kobe?

No Pings Yet

  1. Through a Father's Eyes » Learning to fly (part 1) on October 15, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Custom Search
June 2007
    Jul »

Archives: I wrote that?

My site was nominated for Best Parenting Blog!
My site was nominated for The Blogitzer!